


The Facts of Life

by nochick_fics



Category: Bleach
Genre: M/M, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-11-02 11:48:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10943889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nochick_fics/pseuds/nochick_fics
Summary: Shuuhei gets a rather unexpected request from his Zanpakutou.





	The Facts of Life

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2012.

“Tell me how sex works.”

Shuuhei was so stunned by his Zanpakutou’s request that he almost dropped his tea. 

“What?”

Kazeshini looked at Shuuhei like he was stupid.  Which, as far as the Zanpakutou was concerned, he was.

“Are you fucking deaf as well as dumb?” he asked.  “ _Sex_.  Tell me about it.”

“Uh…” Shuuhei reddened slightly.  “W-Why do you want to know about that?”

“Since I’m in this form, I thought I’d check it out,” Kazeshini said.  A dark finger pointed at his crotch before continuing.  “I never thought much about it until  _this thing_  started doing all sorts of weird stuff.  The other day I touched it and then it leaked and spit all over me.  Is that supposed to happen?”

“Y-Yeah… they do that… sometimes.” Shuuhei set down his cup with shaking hands.  “Look, Kazeshini, this isn’t really the type of thing that I can explain.  When the time comes, I think you’ll know what to do.  Um… was there anyone in particular that you had your eye on?” 

Kazeshini shrugged.  “I don’t know, I just figured I’d do it with you.  You _are_ my so-called master, aren’t you?  So have sex with me, asshole.”

Shuuhei could honestly say that he had never received a ruder proposition.  Then again, he expected no less from his Zanpakutou. 

Sex with Kazeshini...  Shuuhei vigorously shook his head.  He couldn’t believe that he was actually considering the offer.  And surely it had nothing to do with the fact that he hadn’t gotten laid himself in quite some time. 

It wasn’t like he actually  _wanted_ to do it. 

But as the sword said, Shuuhei was his master.  If you thought about it, it was almost... an obligation.

How better to lead than by example?


End file.
